{Inside: How to declutter things attached to a memory. Three things to do to help you let go.}
I had a client tell me that when she was struggling to let go of things tied to good memories, she already knew what I was going to say:
The memories don’t live in the stuff—they live in your heart.’
And she was right. Well, mostly.
Yes, I would have said that. Memories don’t leave you. They do live in your heart.
And sometimes keeping them just because they remind you of a good time doesn’t make sense.
Sometimes it does.
I never want to dismiss the fact that some things do both – conjure up a memory and have a use or purpose – even if the purpose is for display or a conversation starter.
It is when they don’t do both that more thought, questions, and decisions are necessary.
That is the hard part. And that is where you might shut down.
It is also where I might then nudge you to open back up and consider what I said to my client.
Memories don’t live in stuff. They live in your heart.
You might even utter the same thought.
Deep inside you might know that the things which clutter your space and cause you to want to declutter in the first place – while representative of a memory – are be better off donated, given away, or thrown away.
Those things, that you are keeping theoretically to keep the memory alive, are in the way.
When anything doesn’t seamlessly blend into the flow of your life, they stick out.
And that is a good indication that it is time to question their meaning and purpose…and decide whether a different outcome is more beneficial for you, and your space.
You know what falls into the category of “in the way”. And what you might be trying to reconcile is how to detach from something that makes the memory feel “real”, or makes what “was” something that still “is”.
Here are three things to help you declutter things attached to a memory.
1. Share the story.
Everything you own tells a story. Your stuff bears witness to the moments, events, and relationships that make up the fabric of your life. And that is why it can be hard to decipher whether things should take up space in your place.
Sharing the story of the memory gives credence to the item, which keeps the memory alive. And it allows others to bear witness to its beauty. Sometimes that is all that is needed for you to feel more comfortable letting go.
Share the story of the item. If not with a professional like me, with a friend. Or write about it in a journal. Getting it “out” will keep it alive.
2. Add in the practical.
The thought of letting go is emotionally taxing. So it can be helpful to ground yourself and get clear. When you ask the practical questions about the item you take the emotion out. And what is left is a more pragmatic way of looking at and deciding on what to keep.
Asking these questions helps you know more decidedly what makes sense for your life now.
3. Remember your “why”
It isn’t always easy to dig into your “why”. Why? Because digging requires emotions and tackling fears. It’s not very exciting, but it yields great benefits.
When you know why you want to declutter and get organized, and are clear on what you will gain, the work is easier. Your why is a North Star that grounds you. It helps you stay focused on what matters. And makes it easier to let go of what doesn’t.
Consider that things attached to a memory might be most useful solely in your heart not your space.
When you contemplate this, you’ll make space to create your life. And you will live more deliberately now.
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